My friend’s husband is turning 50 and we are planning a surprise party. It’s still early in the evening and summery warm. Everyone brings their loved ones and their favourite food for the buffet. It feels familiar because the people present are exactly the same people who were at my friends’ wedding four years ago. The whole wedding party travelled to Rome with their children to celebrate the bride and groom for two days. A magical weekend in a magical place. And it is precisely this familiar feeling that grips me again on this birthday evening and in which I wrap myself comfortably. It’s a pleasant melange of connection and belonging. La Famiglia!
I have always wanted a family of my own. In the meantime I have come to terms with the fact that my former husband never wanted to have children. For a long time I mourned something I was never allowed to experience: Being a mother. Whenever a baby was born among my friends, I found myself in a painful state of emergency: between joy and sadness. Looking back, I am glad that after the separation I “only” had to take care of myself. It took all my strength to “hold on” to myself and, at the same time, to continue to develop my independence.
The birthday evening showed me once again how strong my need for “La Famiglia” is and how complete I feel when familiar people come together to celebrate a friend. In these moments I am completely in my element and full of joy.
Speaking of birthdays, I’m celebrating my birthday this year in a very special place: Israel. There, where my family roots lie. I’m celebrating it alone. A completely new experience for me. According to the motto: the past is history, the future is a secret and the moment is a gift. Let’s see what life and this journey has in store for me.
Shalom.