I’m learning to be patient these days. Jesus, what a hard thing for me to do. For weeks I’ve been looking for a place to stay in Tel Aviv for the summer months. Through a few local contacts I thought I was safe. But I can’t get the flats I want. And the flats I could have, I don’t want. This reminds me of my flat search in Hamburg four and a half years ago! Back then, after my separation, I was looking for a place that would give me security and new strength. But no matter what I looked at, it was either grotty, overpriced, badly located or all of the above. So similar to now ;).
Two weeks before I have to move out of my old flat in Hamburg in 2018, my “Holy Place” is suddenly there and exactly as I imagined it (well, I still had to install a kitchen, which was annoying, but I could arrange myself with it). Location, furnishings, price. Spot on!
How did I manage it back then?
A few weeks before the move to nowhere land, I’m sitting in a café with a friend of mine crying because I feel disadvantaged by life – my husband already has a new flat and is safe. Then my friend suddenly says, “Maybe you have to accept that you won’t find anything for a while.” EWWW! What a slap in my face. And how good also! Because at that moment, I decided to let go of the completely cramped search. For me, letting go does not mean relinquishing responsibility, lying in the hammock and waiting to be rescued. Letting go means continuing to move, but without fighting. Instead, I want to trust again that life will lead me to the right places and to the right people at the right time.
If you let go, your hands are free.