I’m currently redeeming my birthday present: A 3-day trip to Rome that my mother gave to me. It’s a change of scenery that feels fantastic. I enjoy exploring the city and pushing my way through the Roman traffic on my e-bike. In addition to sightseeing, I pursue my favourite activity: observing people and behavioural patterns. To do this, I always choose a table in a restaurant with a view of the action – just like Waldorf & Statler from the Muppets show, who overlook everything from their box.
Yesterday, for example: I’m sitting in the Jewish quarter enjoying my quiet ‘panorama’ over dinner. A few tables away, a Jewish woman, who is there with her family, smiles and raises her glass in my direction. L’Chaim! Later, she joins me and let me know that she admires my attitude of eating alone. For me as a long-term single (since 2018), this has long been part of everyday holiday life.
I gave my heart away twice in the past seven years – to men who were stuck in unhappy partnerships and still didn’t want to enter into an exclusive arrangement with me. Back then, my self-worth was in the basement and I was in total heartbreak. Today: I have regained my dignity and self-acceptance. Neither of these things happen overnight. It’s a maturing process – a constant reflection of my patterns when choosing emotionally unavailable men. The answer lies in my family dynamics. The moment I saw through the pattern in depth, changed my thinking and adapted my behaviour step by step – things started to transform. Today, I’m doing a good job of setting boundaries. And yes, they still exist – the candidates with the previously mentioned dynamics. I recognise them at an early stage – and I look back with gratitude at the path I have already travelled.
The time is ripe for a new generation of man. So if a man with depth & heart is sitting at the next table at my ‘Dinner For One’ tonight, I will listen, marvel, reflect, feel and assign. If not, I simply continue to watch the action from my box seat and remain satisfied with myself. Because only a new screenplay with a happy ending can still inspire me.
Mille grazie, bella Roma ♥️