The world is spinning in turbo mode. Much too fast for me. My system is struggling to keep up. The weeks fly by at the speed of light. We are heading towards March and this is my first blog article this year…
For me, it’s important not to get thrown off track and to dodge the bullets that are currently hitting my immediate surroundings – separations, serious illness, deaths – so that I remain safe and sound. However, this inevitably leads me to think about my own mortality. Perhaps that’s inevitable once you’re beyond 50? I like my inner maturity and the strength I have developed over the years. Both give me security. But I am effectively missing 10 years of unlived life. And that is exactly what scares me a little. Not always. But every now and then. Because I am a realist. What if I no longer achieve my goals in this life? How do I remain the contented person that I am?
I don’t yet have a precise answer to these questions. One important key is certainly not to suppress fear, but to integrate it. So I trust that my life will always hold wonders in store for me – alongside all the effort that is probably also part of who I am. So when I look back, especially on the past seven years since I’ve been living alone, I look back on a life that I have shaped myself. And that has repeatedly shown me paths to put together my puzzle. That is my motivation: to complete the puzzle.
So speed isn’t that important. What’s more important is that I’m going in the right direction. So I keep moving. Not fast, but more conscious.